So today I stood several times without the use of a walker. It’s a start… I’ve got a long way to go still, but I’m fighting every day to get more limber, stronger and feeling less pain.
A friend of mine surprised me with a loan of enough money to get some CBD oil and it has made such a difference. I’ll get through the weekend now and hopefully get some meds on Monday with the CBD oil as backup. Thank Goodness Texas recently legalized CBD oil. Now if we can get them to decriminalize marijuana, maybe it would be easier to manage pain. But I’m digressing on the topic.
The topic is that when I’m out of most pain, I can exercise and do things like standing up today. In the past few days I’ve barely functioned and today I did wheelchair yoga (for beginners, I’m still learning) and then I stood without a walker multiple times. I also stood to walk to the potty chair, small steps with the walker but not using it for support if I don’t need to. Balance is still an issue and i can’t feel my feet well (neuropathy) but overall, I’m getting better.
But my hands still shake and typing is so much harder than it used to be. I get frustrated. I get angry. It drives me. But I try to stay upbeat and positive too, and that doesn’t always work. But I try. And the moments in which I succeed, well, they’re better moments.
A friend of mine, Robert Arend, (check out his stuff), told me to hug myself and love myself every day. I tried it. I just hug myself and tell myself, “I love you,” and it really changes perspectives. I feel…. I don’t know…. better, yes, better when I do that. Thank you, Bobby!
Life goes on and so do I and I’m grateful to be alive. I almost wasn’t, and the thought of dying in the middle of a book brings more fear to me than death itself. I have to finish my books. They are, after all, my purpose.
What’s your purpose? Do you have one? Do you know it?
Right now, Pomegranate Juice with crushed ice is my purpose, while I write, of course!
I love and need you all.
Love and stuff,
Michy
PS: this is the cover to the very first book I ever had published many, many years ago!
