I have some lab tests I\u2019m supposed to get done. My doctor faxed the lab requests to Labcorp almost a month ago now. I\u2019ve made three different appointments to go, and somehow, I\u2019ve missed every one of them. They are testing me for paraneoplastic syndrome, as associated with a slow-growing type of cancer or tumor. I probably don\u2019t have it. I\u2019m sure that instead I simply have multiple other rare and unusual conditions, all rolled into one little old me. Even though this diagnosis would make total sense and make a lot of other things come together, certainly, I can\u2019t have cancer.<\/p>\n
And as long as I don\u2019t ever get the test done, I\u2019ll never have cancer, right? That\u2019s how this works, right? If you don\u2019t know what\u2019s killing you, you simply don\u2019t die. Right?<\/p>\n
Well, it\u2019s not true. I worked in the medical arena a few years in my past, and I know enough to know how important early intervention and diagnosis is for any condition, but particularly with cancer. So I know I should know better.<\/p>\n
And yet.. I cancelled one appointment because I didn\u2019t want to get out in the rain. I slept through another one. The other one, I just forgot about.<\/p>\n
Yeah\u2026 not good, huh?<\/span><\/p>\n It\u2019s not that I don\u2019t want to know. It honestly isn\u2019t. It\u2019s just\u2026 I\u2019ve been mostly stable recently, and if I get a positive result on any of these tests, it will mean a whole new series of tests to determine what kind of cancer it is and where it is in my body, and that will results in more tests, and more poking and more prodding, and the CTEPH complicates things. What might be something simple for most folks becomes something really difficult for me. Simple procedures that most folks can go into an office for and be out in an hour, I have to go into the hospital at least overnight for because of my blood thinners and clotting problems. I can\u2019t be sedated, so things where most folks can be sedated, I can\u2019t be. That means I have to be awake during some really painful and scary procedures. It\u2019s intense. It\u2019s hard.<\/p>\n It\u2019s damned hard.<\/p>\n You have no idea how hard it is. I have pictures of myself from the right-heart cath, where my entire shoulder and chest are solid bruises, my neck is red and swollen and looks awful, and I was awake and completely unsedated through that whole thing.<\/p>\n So can you imagine cancer treatment in which they won\u2019t use morphine because morphine can suppress breathing in\u00a0 CTEPH patients? Or the tests like MRI on a severely claustrophobic person without any sedation? All the poking and prodding they will add to the already insane amount of poking and prodding.<\/p>\n And just for a time, I almost felt normal\u2026. for a little while, stable and not being prodded.<\/p>\n And I know that if I\u2019m sick-er than I already think I am, I need to do something about it. I suppose I\u2019m only delaying the inevitable. And if it were just a delay, that would be okay. But it\u2019s not just a delay. It\u2019s a potential worsening of the existing condition\u2013if there is one\u2013and I know that. I know that.<\/p>\n Sigh.<\/p>\n So I need to just suck it up, buttercup. I need to just go in and get it done. And you know, the thing is, if it\u2019s nothing, then I\u2019ve spent all this time worrying about it unnecessarily. So there you go. That\u2019s what I need to keep telling myself. It\u2019s going to be nothing. I\u2019m going to go in and get it done, so I can get the results, know that it\u2019s nothing, and relax.<\/p>\n Right?<\/p>\n I damned sure hope so.<\/p>\n Now\u2026. I just have to actually get myself up and do it. Anyone know how to make that happen?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Love and stuff,<\/p>\n Michy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I have some lab tests I\u2019m supposed to get done. My doctor faxed the lab requests to Labcorp almost a month ago now. I\u2019ve made three different appointments to go, and somehow, I\u2019ve missed every one of them. They are testing me for paraneoplastic syndrome, as associated with a slow-growing type of cancer or tumor. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-516","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-health"],"yoast_head":"\n