I don’t watch television much anymore, though it’s always on in the background. I tend to watch the commercials now more than the shows, but now that Lifetime and Nick-@-Nite are showing re-runs of the shows I either grew up with or I liked from the past when I did watch television, I do find that in the evenings I watch more television than used to watch.

Over the years of my life, here are some things I’ve learned from television. Can any of you add to this list?

———————————————————-

I learned how to order fancy coffee in specialty coffee shops. ~~Frasier

I learned how to order a cosmopolitan and what they look like. ~~ Sex in the City (Then I later learned I don’t like them and much prefer chocolate martinis. Of course, I can’t drink now.)

I learned that the television censors are less likely to blackout a hairy ass from a chubby man than they are a nice looking man with a muscular butt. ~~ NYPD Blue

I learned that if your boobs get too big during puberty when you’re on a hit television show it might mean the end of your career for a time. ~~ Facts of Life, Punky Brewster

I learned that no matter what ails me, I can pop a pill and make it all better, and I should ask my doctor about that. ~~ Multitude of drug commercials

I learned that no matter how good of friends a man and a woman are, there is always sexual tension, and everyone usually ends up sleeping with everyone else at some point. ~~Melrose Place, 90210, Friends, ER (fill in any 30-something show)

I learned that real-life drama makes for great afternoon television, even if it does make for a really sucky life, and that perhaps people enjoy those shows because it reminds them that their life isn’t as sucky as it might seem. ~~ (Any afternoon talk show)

I learned that people like to watch other people in pain, turmoil, or ridiculed. ~~ (Any reality television show)

I learned that chubby men with pot bellies can marry skinny, good looking women, even when they don’t have good paying jobs, but the opposite is not true. ~~King of Queens, Still Standing, Family Matters, and more

I learned that if you’re gay, you can have a hit television show, as long as you don’t tell anyone you’re gay. ~~ Ellen

I learned that cartoons aren’t just for children anymore, and in fact, some aren’t for children at all! ~~ Robot Chicken, The Simpsons, Southpark, any anime

I learned that contrary to popular opinion, television stars can indeed become major motion picture actors.
~~Will Smith, Fresh Prince of Belair;
~~Tom Hanks, Bosom Buddies;
~~George Clooney, Golden Girls, Facts of Life, Sisters, Roseanne (and others)
~~Murphy Brown
~~others not listed here

Okay, enough of that. I’m bored with it now. Anyone have their own?

Love and stuff,
Michy