I’ve Decided to Start\u00a0My Life Over<\/p>\n
You know, a do-over. We all have wished we could do it, but\u00a0I know the reality of it is that I can’t really start over.\u00a0I’ve written before that pain and suffering is a necessary evil. There must be balance, and pain teaches us where there is\u00a0an error in our thinking, in our processing, in our feeling so\u00a0that we may make an effort to change.<\/p>\n
I realize more than you know that I need my pain. It is what I\u00a0touch when I write. It is what brings out the very best in me\u00a0at times. It is also what brings out the very worst in me too.\u00a0What I do know now is that I have a choice. I can choose to\u00a0touch my pain and control how I respond to it, or I can\u00a0choose to let it control me instead.<\/p>\n
So I’m starting over, and yes, I’m carrying my past and my\u00a0pain with me, along with my joy and happiness. I claim my\u00a0peace in my life now. I claim it! It’s mine, and I choose what I\u00a0will and will not allow into my experience.<\/p>\n
I decide what works for me and where I want to go and how I\u00a0choose to respond to things. I have a choice.\u00a0There are things from my past I will not carry with me. I leave\u00a0them behind, because they serve no purpose in my life, but I\u00a0claim my pain, and I carry it with me proudly.<\/p>\n
I don’t always like the options from which I have to choose,\u00a0but they are my choices, and just knowing that gives me\u00a0power and strength.<\/p>\n
To those who choose to stay stuck, I wish you the best, but I will move past you. It’s not that I don’t care, and it’s not that\u00a0you and your pain don’t matter to me. I’m simply choosing\u00a0not to get stuck with you.<\/p>\n
I have a beautiful life that many would be envious of if I\u00a0would only allow myself to fully experience that life. Now is\u00a0my time… it is my turn.\u00a0I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I will fly.\u00a0 Won’t you fly with me? The scenery is beautiful when you\u00a0see it from above and even more so when you choose to\u00a0land and experience it.<\/p>\n
I know, deep in my heart, I loved well. I may not have loved\u00a0how someone else wanted me to love. I may not have done\u00a0everything right. I may not have been who someone else\u00a0wanted or hoped I would be, but I have no doubt in my heart\u00a0that I loved well. In truth, that is all I ever really wanted.\u00a0I have been the jack-in-box for too long. Push me down into\u00a0my box, and then wind me up, and each time I pop out, I am\u00a0whoever or whatever I thought you wanted me to be. When\u00a0that was not what you wanted, I let you shove me back into my box and tried again. I lived for you, and I was miserable,\u00a0and now I will live for me.<\/p>\n
Maybe you will learn to love me for who I am, and not who\u00a0you tried to make me or who I tried to be for you.\u00a0I am not for you. I am for me, and I can choose to give\u00a0myself to you, how I choose, when I choose, and in the way I\u00a0choose. You can no longer take me from myself for your own\u00a0personal use. I decide when I give, how I give.<\/p>\n
I choose for me.<\/p>\n
So I call a do-over. I start my life anew.<\/p>\n
I choose.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve Decided to Start\u00a0My Life Over You know, a do-over. We all have wished we could do it, but\u00a0I know the reality of it is that I can’t really start over.\u00a0I’ve written before that pain and suffering is a necessary evil. There must be balance, and pain teaches us where there is\u00a0an error in our […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":316,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-311","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"yoast_head":"\n