I’ve been trying to get pain medication that used to be prescribed quite easily and now is not, even though I added another condition–ankylosing spondylitis–that is excruciatingly painful, plus the psoriatic arthritis. My old primary care doc used to give me 120 10/325 Norcos, and I’d break them in half and they’d last about 6 months. She trusted me. She left Methodist though and I had to get a new primary care and in Tx, you have to be licensed to prescribe long-term pain medication and my new primary care won’t. She won’t give me my anxiety meds either and she told me I had to go to talk therapy.

I know I’m crazy already. But I’m also in pain!

My rheumatologist has it on all the paperwork that she doesn’t give pain medication and refers out to pain management. Pain management in two locations has rejected me because I have too many critical care issues for them to manage pain–they worry about my breathing.

I can’t afford CBD oil at 120 bucks per month over everything else I have to pay for.. And medical marijuana isn’t legal in Texas.

What’s a girl to do? I can’t even get meds to carry my through until I can get to a pain doctor. Then what? They’ll make me drug test and get me addicted instead of letting me take the pills only when I need them. sigh.

I’m going back to my old primary care doc and I’m hoping she will help with pain management again like beore–she’s  not with Methodist but she’s close to where we live now so we’ll see how it goes.

In the meantime, I’m writhing in pain. Constantly. My back aches, but worse is the numbness running down the back of my legs. It’s awful. My muscles aches and the slightest touch on my skin feels like fire touching me.

It’s hard to write when I’m in so much pain but I ordered a cheap hospital bedside table for my laptop and I’m trying to find comfortable positions from which to write. I’m about finished with the fourth book in the THREE series and I’m finally making progress on FIRESTORM. My alpha reader is itching for more daily so I might have to try to lay down some more words for him. I wanted to see if my beta reader Robert might want to alpha read that one for me. I need consistency. I need accountability. Readers help with that.

In the meantime, I’m using Ben Gay, ice packs, extra steroids, peppermint essential oil, massage, and easy yoga. Whatever it takes, I’ll get through this, and you guys are a big reason I can tolerate this pain. Writing to you on facebook, reading what your doing in your life, checking out jokes and memes… it all helps with pain. Video games help with pain too. Seriously, check out this link and see.

For now, I’m going to eat a taco and go to bed!

I love and need you all!

Love and stuff,

Michy