I have to go for physical therapy assessment tomorrow afternoon. I’m nervous about. It’s been about two years since I’ve walked on my own. I’ve been using a walker for very short distances and I’ve been using the wheelchair for everything else. I try to walk with the walker as much as I can, but I’m still only able to do small distances. Stand and pivot–if you can do that, you can move around the house. I had to work for months to get to the point where I could stand and pivot.

I still remember the first time I got into the car during physical therapy and how easy it was once they showed me the right way to get in. I was thinking like a normal person, step up  into the car and pull myself in behind me. But no, that doesn’t work when you’re mobility limited. I have to stand, turn and pivot and sit my butt on the seat and then turn my whole body to swivel into the seat, then I ooch over until I’m seated. It’s not easy but it works. Getting out is just a matter of sliding out to a standing position..

But it took physical therapy to help teach me how to do these things the right way and the easier way. I started off having to slide with a slide board everywhere I went. I no longer need the slide board but it’s a nice piece of wood. I wish I could find someone who needs it–maybe I’ll donate it to my physical therapy clinic. They can sanitize it and use it for PT maybe. It’s really a beautiful board.

I don’t want to keep it though because it feels like that’s waiting for me to need it again, waiting for me to get worse again. I don’t want that.

I want it to be easy though, and it’s not easy at all. It takes a lot of hard work. I’m losing weight from exercising and eating right but I still need to lose more. I have to keep going and being healthier. I need to focus on feeling good first and worry less about how I look. So physical therapy is the turning point for me in so many ways.

That’s why I’m glad to be going back but I am having to do it without Lynn this time. I miss her. I do everything with her so it’s strange to be making plans now without her. I can do this though. I can do it.

I can. Right?

Right.

Ok, I love and need you all.

Love and stuff,

Michy